well here is the letter I received tonight, I cried all the way through it, many mixed emotions, Megan you have become a person that I trust FULLY and that takes a lot TRUST me. You have been someone that has not judge me at all and allow me to be me, and I am truly grateful for that.
Megan thank you for being the best friend someone could ask for! And thank you for helping me see when I am not seeing something I should be it is hard at times.
and I put it here so I would never lose it!
Christine,
I know life hasn’t been easy on you. I also know that is brings about a lot of changes. Sometimes we venture off onto new paths of uncertainty. If there was anything in the world that I would wish, is that you would seek true happiness. It does not have to be in anyone but you. You are a great person who has faced many things.
I truly admire the strength that you find to carry on daily. Raising 3 precious children amongst everything you have to face. Not everyone can do that. I know there are days that you feel like you have failed, or that things have failed you. The truth is, it happens to makes become a little stronger. It may not seem like it, and trust me I have been there more than once, but is really worth it.
You must take a look at yourself and face the world head on. Easier said than done, I get it. I really do. Often times I feel like a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. Really, it seems like a downer. But when I truly sit back and think about it, I know that things are the way they are to truly teach us something. Let’s face it, life is cruel. We all know that. But it comes down to choice. We can either make the best of it, or dread that another tomorrow and ray of sunshine is upon us. We make the choice to face the day. No matter how hard it is. No matter how tired we are, and even when we feel like all our efforts are simply wasted.
If I could show you how far you have come with open eyes, you would see a whole new world. I will always be your support and let you know how much I love you. You don’t have to start the day when the war begins. But you need to start with you. I know things are scary and your feelings do matter. Never think that they don’t. I see a great woman of potential!! You are going to succeed in this world!! I will always be there, whether it is in body or spirit.
Time to start with you girl!! You will find rest when you least expect it. Things are not always done when we want them to be, I have learned this. I also know that the world is a scary place. But as you embark on your new adventure in life, I want you to know how very proud I am of you! I always wondered if I could have the courage that you have. You amaze me! We never see what others see. This is what it is!
If I knew years ago what I knew now, I may have made some different choices in life. I know there is a reason that I had to through things that hurt. Things that made me crazy and things that in the end broke me down and gave me a softer side. I have always hated the saying “life is what you make it” even more so now, I hate to admit that it’s true. Just look at it through. It speaks volumes. Truth rings through it even if we don’t want it to.
You have made me the best that I am by being you. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are not alone. You never will be! I know I can’t take away your fears, or your pain. Trust me I would like nothing more. Perhaps there is something amongst that part of your adversity that you need to accept and learn. No it’s not fair, but remembers wherever the road leads, you face the unknown, and I am always beside you.
Whenever you feel down, read this. Know that I love you for you. Never change who you are. You will figure out your place in this world soon enough. Don’t rush life. Don’t let it pass you by, there are so many amazing thing to see. It is a world of opportunity. Sometimes the knock is soft, and sometimes there is a sledge hammer knocking that door down. Answer that knock. Live your dreams. Aspire to be the best in the world. You need to do that for you. No one can tell you where to turn, or when to jump. Those decisions are solely your own. Just do me a favour, look before you leap. Because I know I have jumped in the mud a few times and it is a pain in the butt to clean up, especially when it dries fast!!
Don’t be sad or dismayed with whatever happens. I am good with life. I am good with wherever my time is going. Who knows, maybe I will surpass them and live to 50. One can only dream, and dreams are good. They make life worth living. I know that it is hard to believe when you have seen me break down and cry and be done with everything. In my heart, I know it is true though. I may not want to always admit it as to me it admits defeat. I may be head strong, and try to look the other way from the cruelties of life~but hey, that’s me!
You are wonderful and beautiful, that is what I see when I look at you. My opinion and you can’t make me change it! I love you Christine! You have become a big inspiration in my life! Never sell yourself short. Live life and live it well! Always remember, I will always be proud of everything your aspire to be. Know that you blessed my life by being a part of it and made me smile when everything around me has crumbled.
I hope you find true peace and comfort. You are worth more than you realize. Just try and give yourself a little more credit. Besides the board you are beating yourself with belongs to me, and I am taking it back!!
Not a day will go by that I won’t wish I was here with you. Just know that through everything we will always have memories that will make us reflect, and even grow. Take this time to do what you need. Take this time to run with the wind. No matter what happens, do not let sadness engulf you. It is going to be okay in the end. We will all find our peace someday. We just have to learn not to let the opportunity slip away. You are a great mother to Dallin, Joshua, and Sara. Your children are amazing because of you! When they smile, reflect in their love!
I love you lots girl!! And yes, I know this will make you cry, but never forget it!! You have more self-worth than you give yourself credit for! Keep your chin up and boobs out!!
Love you lots, always and forever!!
Megan
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